Post by ALEX on Jan 13, 2011 0:40:43 GMT -5
DEPRESSION, a user’s guide
so recently i’ve found myself somewhat annoyed at the misconceptions
that surround mental illnesses. so let’s consider this your basic user’s
guide to depression, self mutilation, and all of that stuff. the reason that
i’m writing this is because one, only someone who’s dealt with all of this
stuff knows what it’s about, and two, i’m really sick of seeing people
having their characters be depressed or cutters or whatever, and not
really knowing anything about it. and this also isn’t just about rping, there
are way too many people out there that are uneducated. so i figured it
wouldn’t hurt to have one of these up, right? so pay attention, and if you
have anything to add to this, please don’t hesitate to do so.
and i’m not just writing this to those of you creating the character.
i hate seeing an application that is great with a character with
depression, and the admin comes back saying ‘well give us a reason
why they’re depressed’. read this, por favor.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
it could be your best friend that is struggling, and you’d have no idea. most people have the strong misconception that the picture of depression is the ‘emo’ kid in your class. the quiet one, who wears funky clothes and just looks ‘sad’. while they may be going through some of their own issues, they’re not the only ones, believe me. it’s your best friend that’s a cheerleader, the one that’s always wearing a smile, shows emotions the appropriate amount, and doesn’t seem to have anything going on. well that’s me. but when you’re creating your characters, keep in mind that everyone has their secrets. some choose to be upfront with their issues by dressing or acting in a certain way, while others are extremely exceptional at masking. you always here people saying ‘i had no idea’ etc etc when a suicide is committed, and not that you should be killing off your characters, but keep that in mind if you’re going to give your character depression, you may want to write them in the same way that you’d write any other character. one in four adolescents struggle with depression, or some sort of mental disorder, so if you’re going to say that your character is depressed, don’t immediately jump to those scene/emo kids.
depression doesn’t always accompany a traumatic event, and in most cases, it doesn’t at all. a lot of cases of depression are purely chemically caused, an imbalance in the brain that screws around with emotions. in almost all cases that comes from a hereditary past of depression, or like illnesses in the family. those that are depressed may have never had anything ‘horrible’ happen to them. they may be the luckiest kid in the world, with everything perfect, but they were born with an imbalance of chemicals in their brain. this also goes the other way. everyone handles grief, or certain events in their lives differently, so don’t assume depression upon everyone that has gone through something horrific. in order to put the depressed label on your character, you don’t need to also have a story about child abuse, etc. but you should include a medical history, or when they were first diagnosed. there’s not always a reason, which is one of the reasons why depression is as serious as it is. it can affect anyone, and in most cases there isn’t a huge sob story to accompany it.
depression doesn’t just go away. it’s a disease, just like diabetes. at some points it will, and can be worse, and at others it can be kept under control with medication, or other uses. but it doesn’t disappear. so your character ‘wasn’t depressed a year ago’. they may have had a particularly rough patch a year ago, but they’re not healed now. i’ll go back to the diabetes metaphor, because that’s what my therapist first gave me when i was diagnosed back in fifth grade. if handled appropriately, depression, like diabetes can be completely dormant, and not affect ones life whatsoever. but if you let it get out of control, by not taking meds, or whatnot, it springs up again. but it’s never gone, and you’re never healed. that in mind, a diabetic doesn’t spend every moment in the hospital from an insulin crash. so please keep that in mind. just because they aren’t better doesn’t mean that they walk around in the same state of mind that they were in a few months ago. it’s a cycle, there are ups and downs, just like everything else in life. untreated depression is bound to swing downwards, so if you state that your character is depressed, mention that they have it under control by taking medications (which a good 1/3 of the country are on, by the way) in order to keep everything balanced, or they see a therapist, or they check in with a doctor every month or so. but keeping it entirely untreated is something that is bound to bring the person back into one of those really low points.
negative coping habits are not cool. in treatment programs we were told not to glorify war stories, which you need to keep in mind. those that cut, or drink, or take pills, or purge, etc, are not proud of it. it’s not something that is displayed, and it’s not something that is done for attention. all of these are coping methods when the depression reaches a point at which coping becomes increasingly difficult. they are ways to let out problems in a physical way, rather than dealing with them in depth. like the above paragraph, this also doesn’t go away. ask any ex-cutter, or anyone that used to drink too much. every day is one more day sober, or one more day that you didn’t cut. every day is an accomplishment. that in mind, effects don’t go away as well. if your character cut when they were a teenager, they’ll have scars. and on that note, scars aren’t always on wrists. in most cases actually, they’re not. upper thighs, ankles, under kneecaps, hips, etc. wrists and arms are hard to keep hidden, and like i said before, it’s not something that is bragged about, so it’s not going to be shown off. your character will be conscientious of this for the rest of his or her life, so if you’re going to include that they are/were a cutter, then keep that up throughout the character’s existence. if they cut their upper thighs, they’re probably going to have some insecurities about putting on a bikini. apply this to the above mentioned negative coping methods as well. they’re not glamorous, they’re not to get attention, and they’re certainly not something that should be taken lightly. if you choose to make your character do one of the above things, give some history to it. like i said, a habit like self-harm is not just another accessory.
depression is a diagnosis, not a synonym for sad. i have bad low blood sugar issues, but when my blood sugar drops and i need to do something about it, i don’t say ‘i was so diabetic’. depression is the same thing. although we all do it, myself included, be mindful that saying ‘he/she was so depressed’ is not accurate. if you want to say that your character was incredibly sad, there are tons of other great words out there to express that. depressed/depression is not one of them.
there are many different mental illnesses, not all of which fall under the ‘depressed’ title. and with that in mind, depression is often accompanied by another illness. major depression is a diagnosis within itself, which basically is saying that there is a significant chemical imbalance in the brain that is affecting one’s lifestyle. there is also manic depression, which goes along with bi-polar disorder, and others. major depression is often accompanied by some form of anxiety, yet another diagnosed illness. for more information, google it. it’s not that hard, it takes a few seconds, and it makes a hell of a difference. because just saying that someone is depressed doesn’t cover everything.
suicidal thoughts come in many different forms. there is suicidal ideation, which is when a person is thinking about killing themselves, and may begin to form a plan. it’s more fantasizing, and dreaming about suicide. there are passive suicidal thoughts, which is when a person is thinking of death in the way that they don’t want to kill themselves, but they wouldn’t ‘mind’ if someone else did it. for instance, this may mean putting themselves into dangerous situations, like driving without a seatbelt, or walking into oncoming traffic, or something like suicide by cop (when a person forces a cop to kill them by making it look like they’re going to harm someone else). then there is planning, and when suicidal thoughts get to the planning stage, that means that you’re past the point of ideation. specifics get involved, like when, where, method, and details within that method. and then of course there’s going through with it. keep in mind that about half or more suicide attempts are unsuccessful, and there is no guaranteed way to kill yourself. people survive in crazy ways, so if you’re going to kill off your character, or you want to put them into an attempted suicide situation, keep that in mind.
i will most certainly continue to add things in here, because this is just one day out of my life that i’m writing this. i had more ideas of what to put in here, and i’ve blanked, but i want to get this up. and also, keep in mind that this is one person’s description, and ‘tips’ if you will, to handling depression or playing a character with depression. it comes in all different forms, and the purpose of this is to educate, and not offend anyone. everyone’s experience is completely different, that much is certain. so add in your own thoughts/opinions/etc. and i’ll continue to add numbers and information to this as it comes to me. but like i said, i wanted it up tonight. hopefully you’ve gotten my main message, which is that depression doesn’t come and go, and it’s something that is more than just sadness, it’s something medical. it’s not glamorous, and it’s not something that is showed off. it’s not present in who you may think it may be, and i guarantee you that at least one person that you know in real life is struggling from depression. it’s everywhere, and slowly people are being educated, but it’s just the tip of the iceberg. so if i can educate one or two people in the rping world, this guide has done its job. (:
so recently i’ve found myself somewhat annoyed at the misconceptions
that surround mental illnesses. so let’s consider this your basic user’s
guide to depression, self mutilation, and all of that stuff. the reason that
i’m writing this is because one, only someone who’s dealt with all of this
stuff knows what it’s about, and two, i’m really sick of seeing people
having their characters be depressed or cutters or whatever, and not
really knowing anything about it. and this also isn’t just about rping, there
are way too many people out there that are uneducated. so i figured it
wouldn’t hurt to have one of these up, right? so pay attention, and if you
have anything to add to this, please don’t hesitate to do so.
and i’m not just writing this to those of you creating the character.
i hate seeing an application that is great with a character with
depression, and the admin comes back saying ‘well give us a reason
why they’re depressed’. read this, por favor.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
it could be your best friend that is struggling, and you’d have no idea. most people have the strong misconception that the picture of depression is the ‘emo’ kid in your class. the quiet one, who wears funky clothes and just looks ‘sad’. while they may be going through some of their own issues, they’re not the only ones, believe me. it’s your best friend that’s a cheerleader, the one that’s always wearing a smile, shows emotions the appropriate amount, and doesn’t seem to have anything going on. well that’s me. but when you’re creating your characters, keep in mind that everyone has their secrets. some choose to be upfront with their issues by dressing or acting in a certain way, while others are extremely exceptional at masking. you always here people saying ‘i had no idea’ etc etc when a suicide is committed, and not that you should be killing off your characters, but keep that in mind if you’re going to give your character depression, you may want to write them in the same way that you’d write any other character. one in four adolescents struggle with depression, or some sort of mental disorder, so if you’re going to say that your character is depressed, don’t immediately jump to those scene/emo kids.
depression doesn’t always accompany a traumatic event, and in most cases, it doesn’t at all. a lot of cases of depression are purely chemically caused, an imbalance in the brain that screws around with emotions. in almost all cases that comes from a hereditary past of depression, or like illnesses in the family. those that are depressed may have never had anything ‘horrible’ happen to them. they may be the luckiest kid in the world, with everything perfect, but they were born with an imbalance of chemicals in their brain. this also goes the other way. everyone handles grief, or certain events in their lives differently, so don’t assume depression upon everyone that has gone through something horrific. in order to put the depressed label on your character, you don’t need to also have a story about child abuse, etc. but you should include a medical history, or when they were first diagnosed. there’s not always a reason, which is one of the reasons why depression is as serious as it is. it can affect anyone, and in most cases there isn’t a huge sob story to accompany it.
depression doesn’t just go away. it’s a disease, just like diabetes. at some points it will, and can be worse, and at others it can be kept under control with medication, or other uses. but it doesn’t disappear. so your character ‘wasn’t depressed a year ago’. they may have had a particularly rough patch a year ago, but they’re not healed now. i’ll go back to the diabetes metaphor, because that’s what my therapist first gave me when i was diagnosed back in fifth grade. if handled appropriately, depression, like diabetes can be completely dormant, and not affect ones life whatsoever. but if you let it get out of control, by not taking meds, or whatnot, it springs up again. but it’s never gone, and you’re never healed. that in mind, a diabetic doesn’t spend every moment in the hospital from an insulin crash. so please keep that in mind. just because they aren’t better doesn’t mean that they walk around in the same state of mind that they were in a few months ago. it’s a cycle, there are ups and downs, just like everything else in life. untreated depression is bound to swing downwards, so if you state that your character is depressed, mention that they have it under control by taking medications (which a good 1/3 of the country are on, by the way) in order to keep everything balanced, or they see a therapist, or they check in with a doctor every month or so. but keeping it entirely untreated is something that is bound to bring the person back into one of those really low points.
negative coping habits are not cool. in treatment programs we were told not to glorify war stories, which you need to keep in mind. those that cut, or drink, or take pills, or purge, etc, are not proud of it. it’s not something that is displayed, and it’s not something that is done for attention. all of these are coping methods when the depression reaches a point at which coping becomes increasingly difficult. they are ways to let out problems in a physical way, rather than dealing with them in depth. like the above paragraph, this also doesn’t go away. ask any ex-cutter, or anyone that used to drink too much. every day is one more day sober, or one more day that you didn’t cut. every day is an accomplishment. that in mind, effects don’t go away as well. if your character cut when they were a teenager, they’ll have scars. and on that note, scars aren’t always on wrists. in most cases actually, they’re not. upper thighs, ankles, under kneecaps, hips, etc. wrists and arms are hard to keep hidden, and like i said before, it’s not something that is bragged about, so it’s not going to be shown off. your character will be conscientious of this for the rest of his or her life, so if you’re going to include that they are/were a cutter, then keep that up throughout the character’s existence. if they cut their upper thighs, they’re probably going to have some insecurities about putting on a bikini. apply this to the above mentioned negative coping methods as well. they’re not glamorous, they’re not to get attention, and they’re certainly not something that should be taken lightly. if you choose to make your character do one of the above things, give some history to it. like i said, a habit like self-harm is not just another accessory.
depression is a diagnosis, not a synonym for sad. i have bad low blood sugar issues, but when my blood sugar drops and i need to do something about it, i don’t say ‘i was so diabetic’. depression is the same thing. although we all do it, myself included, be mindful that saying ‘he/she was so depressed’ is not accurate. if you want to say that your character was incredibly sad, there are tons of other great words out there to express that. depressed/depression is not one of them.
there are many different mental illnesses, not all of which fall under the ‘depressed’ title. and with that in mind, depression is often accompanied by another illness. major depression is a diagnosis within itself, which basically is saying that there is a significant chemical imbalance in the brain that is affecting one’s lifestyle. there is also manic depression, which goes along with bi-polar disorder, and others. major depression is often accompanied by some form of anxiety, yet another diagnosed illness. for more information, google it. it’s not that hard, it takes a few seconds, and it makes a hell of a difference. because just saying that someone is depressed doesn’t cover everything.
suicidal thoughts come in many different forms. there is suicidal ideation, which is when a person is thinking about killing themselves, and may begin to form a plan. it’s more fantasizing, and dreaming about suicide. there are passive suicidal thoughts, which is when a person is thinking of death in the way that they don’t want to kill themselves, but they wouldn’t ‘mind’ if someone else did it. for instance, this may mean putting themselves into dangerous situations, like driving without a seatbelt, or walking into oncoming traffic, or something like suicide by cop (when a person forces a cop to kill them by making it look like they’re going to harm someone else). then there is planning, and when suicidal thoughts get to the planning stage, that means that you’re past the point of ideation. specifics get involved, like when, where, method, and details within that method. and then of course there’s going through with it. keep in mind that about half or more suicide attempts are unsuccessful, and there is no guaranteed way to kill yourself. people survive in crazy ways, so if you’re going to kill off your character, or you want to put them into an attempted suicide situation, keep that in mind.
i will most certainly continue to add things in here, because this is just one day out of my life that i’m writing this. i had more ideas of what to put in here, and i’ve blanked, but i want to get this up. and also, keep in mind that this is one person’s description, and ‘tips’ if you will, to handling depression or playing a character with depression. it comes in all different forms, and the purpose of this is to educate, and not offend anyone. everyone’s experience is completely different, that much is certain. so add in your own thoughts/opinions/etc. and i’ll continue to add numbers and information to this as it comes to me. but like i said, i wanted it up tonight. hopefully you’ve gotten my main message, which is that depression doesn’t come and go, and it’s something that is more than just sadness, it’s something medical. it’s not glamorous, and it’s not something that is showed off. it’s not present in who you may think it may be, and i guarantee you that at least one person that you know in real life is struggling from depression. it’s everywhere, and slowly people are being educated, but it’s just the tip of the iceberg. so if i can educate one or two people in the rping world, this guide has done its job. (:
